Week 3 Prompt I

Writers have to listen to themselves; writers ought to be always talking to themselves. Try a conversation between you and yourself. Sometimes arguments are fun.  

Me: "That guy looks a heck of a lot like Paul LePage."

Myself: "Funny coincidence. But the library has many mentally perturbed patrons, and why shouldn't one of them look like Paul LePage?"

Me: "It is strange."

Myself: "Just ignore him and go to the checkout desk on the other side of the library to check out your books."

Me: "I have one book that is lacking a barcode or anything again, it seems that I always seem to get an Oppenheim one like that."

(Insert most gigantic sneeze you can possibly imagine, emanating from the opposite side of the library.)

Me: "Oh my. Paul LePage's doppelgänger just sneezed, and it was louder than the majority of people could scream."

Myself: "Ignore it. LePage's double sneezing is no business of yours."

Me: "But it was just the most ridiculous sneeze I have ever heard!"

Myself: "Ignore it! Look at the librarian then."

(Librarian has a shocked and bemused look on his face, almost as humorous as the sneeze.)

Me: "Oh no, that is too funny!"

Myself: "Come on, it was just a sneeze!"

Me: "It's the look on the librarian's face!"

Myself: "Stop laughing!"

Me: "But when I stop, I start thinking of it again, and then I start laughing again. I can't help it. This is the first time it has happened to me, uncontrollable laughter like this. Normally, when I laugh, it is because I feel like it or am being polite. The last time I came close to actually finding something that histerically humorous was when Mr. Goldfine said how because your hat said WC on it, that you must have played on the toilets."

Librarian (handing books over): "Be careful." (referring to the horrific cold LePage's impersonator must be in possession of.)

And I don't believe I shall ever hear anyone sneeze like that again. Maybe unless LePage tries to give a speech with a cold.